RWBY watches One Minute Melee
by Vindexian
Summary: I don't really need to explain this one do I? It's basically Team RWBY and Team JNPR reacting to One Minute Melee. Inspired by epicvictory's 'RWBY watches Death Battle'.
It was a slow day for Team RWBY. Things have died down considerably after The Breach. It still felt like it had been only yesterday that they were on the train trying to prevent the disaster when it was really just four days ago. Luckily, nobody had been hurt during the Breach, so that was that. The damages had already been repaired, and life was starting to return to the normal.

They were returning from class with Team JNPR when they were stopped suddenly by a random portal of white and blue light. It wasn't too large, it was probably about the size of a small crate. Suddenly, a box flew out of the portal, as it closed itself, the box landed in the middle of the hall with a soft thud.

Ruby was the first to approach it, and noticed a piece of paper strapped to the side of it with writing on it. She took it off and read off what the note said. 'Greetings and Salutations! If you are getting this, then that mean our project worked! Allow me to explain, my friend and I were trying to build a device that would let us travel to different dimensions, different multiverses. We didn't know what to use as a test run, so we decided to use a spare copy of my friend's old video collection. In the box, you find fights between fighters from different dimensions and universes. The show has a special gimmick, but it's not the less entertaining... Although it might be randomized after going through the portal now that I think about it... Oh well. It's still fun to watch none the less. Consider it a gift from another dimension, hope you like it! With love, Two Science Nerds with a nack for Fighting.'

Both teams looked at each other, before deciding to go to Team RWBY's dorm.

* * *

"How much longer..." Nora asked for the ump-tenth time, bored as Ren and Blake were setting up Weiss's Plasma Screen T.V. on the floor.

"Just a few minutes Nora." Ren said as they almost finished up.

"Are we really doing this?" Weiss questioned as many of them looked at the heiress. "For all we know, it could be a gag gift."

"Maybe, but it doesn't hurt to check it out Weiss." Ruby said as she pulled out one of the CD's in the box.

"There, all finished." Blake said as she turned on the CD player. "Ruby, the disk?"

Ruby handed over the disk she had in her hand, and soon the disk was in and loading up the video as the teens all took different positions. Ruby, Jaune, Nora and Weiss were on the floor in front of the T.V, Blake was on her bed, Yang was on hers, Ren was standing up, and Pyrrha was sitting in one of the chairs. Soon, the video was playing.

 **A burning clock was revealed a it did a single minute spin, before it changed scenes.**

 **"One Minute Melee!" An announcer said as they saw those words and number on the video**

 **"Where all the fights are settled in 60 Seconds!"**

 **"2 Fighters!"**

 **"No Research!"**

 **"Sixty seconds..."**

 **"MELEE!"**

 **"Go!"**

The others processed this information. Ren was the first to respond.

"I see, what the person from this 'Earth' sent, was a collection of fights from different franchises." He said, as the others looked at him strangely. "This is purely for entertainment, seeing as they didn't put much research into each fighter, and only giving the fight a minute to fight and end the duel."

"What would be the point in that?" Pyrrha questioned. "It usually would take longer for a fight, so wouldn't it be more entertaining?"

"It doesn't sound very entertaining, either, watching two people fight each other." Weiss noted

Yang was going to responded, but realized something, and quickly paused the video.

"Wait a moment, this means that if they aren't doing any research on the fighters, that means the winner is probably random right?" Yang said with a huge smirk.

"That does seem to be implied." Blake said, wary of what the blonde brawler was planing.

"Then I propose a wager!" Yang shouted as all eyes were on her. "We each look at both combatants and pick who we think will win the fight. For every fighter we picked wrong is a point against us. The ones with the most points against them will have to do a dare of one of our choosing."

Some of them stared at the blonde as if she were nuts.

"Absolutely not." Weiss stated as Yang smirk.

"What's the matter, Weiss? Scared you'll lose?" Yang counted, as Weiss fumed. "Come on, it'll be fun."

"It does seem entertaining..." Ren said, surprising everybody that he'd participate.

"Well, if Ren is on board, I guess I can join in." Blake said, as the others, minus Weiss, joined in.

"Alright, glad to see we all unanimously agree." Yang said as Weiss looked at her in distain. "Now, anyone have a suggest for dares."

Weiss growled a bit, before she stopped, and grinned menacingly.

"I have an idea..." Weiss said as Yang felt a bit worried. "If you lose, you'll have to get your hair cut... Exactly. Like. Ruby's."

Everyone stared shocked at Weiss for coming up with that suggestion, while Yang actually froze. They were all taking a step away from Weiss to escape the brawler's rage, when Yang surprised everyone... By laughing.

"Oh, man. That is a good one, Weissy!" Yang congratulated, causing Weiss to look surprised at her. "That exactly what I mean."

"You- you're not mad?" Ruby said as Yang shook her head.

"Oh don't get me wrong, I'm alittle mad, but this was my idea, so for once I'll let it slide." Yang said as they all relaxed. "But let's change it up every time, shall we? It'd be lame if we just did the same dare over and over again."

They all agreed , seeing as that was a valid point. Suddenly, Blake had a merciless grin on her face.

"Since Weiss was kind enough to start us off, I'll make the next one for her." She said as Weiss took a worried look on her face. "If you lose, you have to..."

She leaned in to whisper something into Weiss's ear. Whatever she said, it caused her to have a massive blush on her face as she started stuttering before silencing herself.

"I don't got a choice in this, do I?" She said as Blake smirked.

"It's either that or I tell them." She said as Weiss blushed, who resigned her fate.

"Fine, I'll play along." She said, crossing her arms.

"What was the bet?" Nora asked curious as Blake chuckled.

"Don't worry, you'll find out soon.

 **They see multitude of characters up on a screen, as if it were a set up of character selection of a video game.**

"Huh? What's this?" Weiss asked, slightly confused by the format of the video.

"It's a character selection screen." Jaune surprisingly answered. "It's where you choose one of the people you see and either you pick your opponent, or if someone else is playing, they choose who they want."

Everyone looked at Jaune with a curious look, as the blonde blushed a bit.

"My family is a huge gaming enthusiast." He admitted, embarrassed.

They all oh'd as they turned their heads back and continued the video. The selection tool moved around for a bit, before it settled on the first person.

 **It was a man in a pink traditional karate gi, with a black undershirt underneath. He had brown hair and brown eyes. His hair was wrapped around in a ponytail behind his back. The short character analysis had this on the man:**

* * *

 **Name: Dan Hibiki**

 **Race: Human**

 **Age: Unknown**

 **Height: 5'10**

 **Weight: 163 lbs**

 **Franchise: Street Fighter**

 **Summary: Dan Hibiki is one of the joke character's in the Street Fighter Franchise. Considered one of the weakest in the series, he's one for two things, being useless, and excessive taunting. He teaches a worthless martial arts style, but has some ki attacks, which could be seen as energy projectiles.**

* * *

 **The selection tool selected him as the Sprite got into a fighting pose and said "I hope you're ready for a beating."**

 **It moved towards another person, dress somewhat similarly to Dan. The man had a martial arts gi on, with the top being brown, and the bottom being white. Unlike Dan, who didn't wore any shoes, the man had black laced shoes. He wore no undershirt, showing his hairy chest that was covered up by his buttoned gi. His hair was black and in an afro, and his eyes were black. Strapped behind his back was a golden jetpack. This was what the character analysis had on him:**

* * *

 **Name: Mark 'Hercule' Satan**

 **Race: Human**

 **Age: 38**

 **Height: 6'2**

 **Weight: 208 lbs**

 **Franchise: Dragon Ball**

 **Summary: A martial arts world champion, he has won one martial arts tournament legitamently, and 25 time illegitamently, to support his daughter and his life style. As accomplished as this sounds, he is severally underpowered compared to some of the other characters in his franchise, who can destroy planets and people in a blink of an eye, and with much effort. He mainly fights with his fists, and can not do any sort of ki attacks.**

* * *

 **The selector clicked him as he got into his own stance and shouted "You're all washed up!"**

Jaune paused the video as they all thought about this. The two teams had mixed feelings about the two. Their first impression of the two were simple: they were losers in every sense of the word. Reading the description that the person who sent the videos, that just improved the stereotype. But since they had to choose...

"I'd have to go with Hercule, he has a cool looking jetpack." Ruby said as she ogled the golden flying device.

"I'd have to go with Dan." Weiss said. "He has energy attacks which Hercule does not possess."

"I agree." Blake

"I'd have to say Hercule." Yang

"He does seem to be better." Jaune

"Dan because of the pink gi!" Nora

"I'd have to go with Hercule." Pyrrha

"Likewise." Ren

"So we have five going for Hercule, and 3 for Dan." Jaune stated as he held the controller pointed at the screen. "Let's see who's right."

He pressed play as the scene went black. Soon though, it changed.

 ** _*Cue Cutscene 10 (Sonic Generations)*_**

 **The setting for the fight was a peaceful looking plaza. In the background, they could see a large monument looking thing far off in the distance underneath a closer looking arc. At the bottom left corner, it indicates that it is a Tuesday at 7:36pm, and the location is France - Eaststreet.**

"What a peaceful looking city." Pyrrha commented.

 **The camera pans to Hercule, who is calmly walking east, with Dan walking from the west.**

 **The Music stops as both 'martial artist' makes eye contact with each other as everything but themselves darken.**

"And here comes the pointless violence." Weiss said with an eye roll.

 **'Oh MAN...' Hercule thinks to himself as he looks away. 'That dude looks REAL strong! And he's looking RIGHT AT ME!'**

They looked shocked at the speaking role. They were under the impression that this would be a minute of fighting, not with any plot. Though they had to admit, it was funny seeing a grown man scared of a man in a pink gi.

 **'Why is this guy staring at me..?' Dan thought to himself as there was a sweatdrop going down his head. 'He probably wants to kill me with those HUGE biceps...'**

"WIMP!" Nora shouted as Ren turned to her adoptive sister.

"Aren't you rooting for him?" He asked as Nora nodded. He didn't dwell on it that long, seeing as he live with her for a long time.

 **While he still had that sweatdrop, he toughened up a bit.**

 **'No matter. I'll just barge into him when we get near eachother.' He thought confidently. 'To show him how manly I am!'**

"Uhh... Won't that just start a fight instead of avoid one?" Ruby questioned with a head tilt.

 **The camera changes views to their feet as both characters start walking towards each other again. As they get near each other, the camera changes to an upper body shot as everything above Dan's nose is suddenly darkened up a bit. Then, when they pass into each other, Dan slammed his should against Hercule, which causes him to make a stupid looking face as he staggered a bit, while Dan just continued to move forward.**

Ruby, Yang, Jaune and Nora all broke out in a fit of laughter after seeing the face of Hercule, while Pyrrha and Blake giggled a bit. Weiss and Ren just held a small smile at the man.

 **Hercule straight himself out as he lifted on of his hands up in the air.**

 **"HEY!" Hercule shouted as he points that hand to Dan, who freezes. "What's the big idea suckah!?"**

 **'Shit...' Dan thought, realizing his ploy failed.**

The students all flinch back as Ruby gasped.

"SWEAR!"

The other's chuckled at Ruby's antics, and hoped that this was the only swear they'd hear.

 **'I thought he woulda just bought the tough guy act and back down!' He continued. 'Now I gotta act like I'm not scared of this guy.'**

"Or you could pull or Pyrrha and just apologize." Blake said as said girl glared at her jokingly.

 **"OH?" Dan said as he turned around with a fearsome look in his face, which causes Hercule to back up shaking with an exclamation point near his head. "Do we have a frickin' problem here old fart!?"**

The other fell back into a giggle fest at seeing the reaction of Hercule.

 **'Aww Crap...' Hercule thought to himself as he had that funny looking face again. 'He isn't backing off! I can't blow my bluff now!'**

 **Mustering his courage, he pointed back again at Dan with a similar look that Dan had.**

 **'Have you no go damn manners!? You just bumped into me!" He shouted as he took small fighting poses. "Apologize! Or prepare to face the deadly fist of..." He crossed his arms a bit blew, before he extended them up in the air in a double peace sign as a small explosion happened behind him... Somehow. "Mr. Satan!"**

 **A crowd cheered behind him as the explosion died off, while Dan looked a bit intimidated.**

Both teams looked shocked at the effects that just had happened behind the martial artist.

"Wasn't expecting that to happen." Yang noted.

 **'..Damn! He's even got a cool little intro, too. Probably way more famous than I could be...' He said before he brushed it off, and got into a small fighting pose. 'Alright, calm down Dan, you're gonna have to fight this guy. He probably sucks!'**

 **"Mr. Who?" Dan said with a confused tone, before chuckling. 'Sorry, it sounds like some sorta trashy cartoon my students would watch back in the day.'**

"How old are your students?" Weiss said, before stopping herself. "Wait... You have students?"

Yang bursts into a fit of giggles at the joke as Nora and Ruby did as well.

"That was a good one, Weiss." She said patting the back of the girl. "We may make a good jokester out of you yet!"

Weiss blushed at the compliment, but did say anything.

 **"But if it's a fight you want..." He said raised his arm with a fist in the air. "It's a fight you'll get!"**

 **'Oooh crap!' Hercule thought to himself as he held his head with both hands. 'Now I actually got to fight this dude! Why am I so damn stupid!?'**

The huntsmen/Huntresses in training chuckled when they heard a background noise of a baby crying.

 **'Oh well,' He thought. 'Here goes nothing!'**

 ** _*Cue Trophy Rush (SSB4)*_**

 **"Alrighty then." Hercule said as Dan got into his standard fighting pose. "Show me wutchu got ya pink pajama wearing monkey!"**

Another round of giggles descended upon the cast after they heard the insult.

 **Hercule got into his fighting stance as they both stared at each other, waiting for an opening.**

 **"GO FOR BROKE!" The announcer said, the music suddenly picked up a new pace. "FIGHT!"**

 **As soon as the announcer said fight, both combatants reared back a fist and rushed towards one another, angrily shouting a war cry, while a minute timer popped up at the top of the video.**

"So the fight starts when both combatants would throw a punch." Ren said. "It looks like they are sticking with their word about it being a minute."

 **Both the fist collided against each other, neither moving an inch, until a split second later, when they were holding their respective fist in pain for two seconds.**

Yang and Nora chuckled at the what they just saw as Weiss narrowed her eyes at the two

 **When they recovered, Dan was the first to make a move as he tried to grapple Hercule, only for the champ to duck under it and land a low kick to his legs, followed up by an uppercut that launched Dan into the air. When he fell, Hercule kicked him back a couple of feet, knocking him down to the ground.**

 **Dan did stay do for long, as he quickly got back up and swiftly rushed at Hercule. Time seemingly paused as Dan reared back a fist with an angered look, while Hercule had his 'funny face' back on.**

 **The result was a dust cloud where they could only see limbs and body parts pop out of the cloud, with blue sharks coming here and there. At one point, Hercule popped out momentarily, only to be put in a choke hold by Dan and dragged back down to the dust cloud. When they popped back out, they were having a small slap fight, which Dan won with a hit to Hercules chest, but Hercule retailiated with a tackled, sending them back down to the cloud.**

Yang, Nora and Ruby all fell back into their laughing fits at the two fighters as the other held back their snickers.

 **0:45**

 **Hercule seemed to have been put in a choke hold, as well as Dan when the smoke cleared up a bit. The camera panned out as it revealed not only another 'funny face' Hercule, but that both combatants had put each other in a chokehold.**

"Well, they don't have a good 'grasp' on the situation." Yang punned, before the others, minus Ruby who giggled, booed. Yang frowned, but it went up when she swore she heard someone other then Ruby laugh lightly at her pun.

 **They seemed to both realize this as Hercule took out a small bomb with a skull on it.**

The other's eyes widened as they watched him take out what could be a very lethal weapon.

 **"How about this!" He said as he tossed it at Dan's feet, who only looked at it confused.**

 **It exploded, only to reveal that it's a stink bomb, causing Dan to cough a bit.**

They all let their breaths go once they realized that it wasn't that much of a deadly weapon.

 **Meanwhile, Hercule activated his jet pack, and charged directly at Dan. Dan turned around, and was taken aback (indicated by the exclamation point behind him), when he saw Hercule aiming a flying kick towards his head, who shouted "Dynamite Kick!".**

 **Time slowed down as Dan moved back a smudge as Hercule got closer... And promptly moved out of the way. Time went back to normal speed as Hercule flew off screen.**

Everyone, including Weiss, but excluding Ren, broke out in a large laughter as Ren just gave a small laugh.

"He missed! How could he have missed!" Nora said giggling. "He was literally five feet in front of you!"

 **The camera moved to see that Hercule landed near a military vehicle that carried oranges... For some reason, with an army guy next to it. Hercule popped back up, squishing a few oranges and holding one of them in each hand, scaring the army man, whose helmet flew a few inches upwards as he screamed himself backwards, before running away, screaming.**

"This is turning to be a comedy strip isn't it?" Blake said as some of the immature of the bunch laughed again.

 **0:30**

 **Dan looked a bit shocked, but recovered just in time to dodge one of the oranges by moving down a bit, before ducking completely to dodge another hit. He stood back up, with a smirk and a thumbs up directed at the camera as there was a glint in his teeth, stating "Don't underestimate m-". He didn't get to finish as an orange hit him in the face as he stayed still.**

"I don't think that's you're problem Daniel." Weiss said looking at her nails as the others chuckled at his misfortune.

 **The camera back out to show a still frozen Dan and Hercule, who as still on the truck and holding an orange. Suddenly, Dan bent his knees as he started charging up a energy ball, causing Hercule to go back to his 'funny face'. He ran off the truck as Dan shouted "Shinku-Hadoken!", sending the energy projectile into the truck, causing it to snap in half and explode, sending the oranges scattered about.**

The laughing stopped when they all saw the power that Dan just unleashed on Hercule. Suddenly, Team Satan were growing a bit worried.

 **Hercule was cowering away from the blast, and looked back to see if it was over, only to get kicked in the face by a flying roundhouse-like kick by Dan. While he was disoriented Dan grabbed him by his garb and attempted to slammed him in to the ground, only for Hercule to reverse it and toss him using his legs across the fighting arena. Dan rolled once and landed on his feet as he turned to face Hercule, who was standing back up. He got back into his fighting pose as Dan rushed back at him.**

 **When Dan got close enough, he attempted to hit his opponent with a smaller red version of the attack he used, but Her use cowered away for it, missing it completely, before he kneed Dan in the chest. He did a small combo against Dan in the air, then started pummeling with punches before he kicked him in the air, and followed it up with some type of roll attack, ending with a punch to the chest.**

 **Then, Hercule used an open palmed hit across Dan's face six times.**

"I take back what I said." Weiss said after they watched the pain Hercule just inflicted. "This is actually mildly entertaining."

 **0:15**

 **Hercule was bringing down a fist with a battle cry, but Dan only caught it before it could land. He brought back his 'funny face' as he looked shocked at him.**

 **"Victory is mine-" Dan started to say, bringing back a fist, but was interrupted.**

 **"Just a moment!" Hercule said, pausing Dan momentarily as he still held his hand.**

Everyone seemed on edge on whatever Hercule was planning.

 **0:10**

Whatever it was, he had 10 seconds to pull it off.

 **"I've got a present for ya." He said as brought up what appeared to be a gaming handheld console.**

 **"I knew I could do it." Dan said let go of Hercule as he took a victorious smirk, snatching it off Hercule.**

"This is too easy." Blake commented as she eyed the device Hercule gave Dan in suspicion.

 **Hercule seemingly ran away, hiding behind some bushes as Dan seemed pleased with his victory.**

 **0:05**

 **Hercule had a large grin on his face as he pulled out a detonator.**

Blake, Ren and Pyrrha all had widen eyes as they put together what Hercule just gave Dan.

 **He chucked as he pressed the button, before covering his head. Behind him, Dan let go of the handheld console as he soon found out that there was actually a hidden bomb inside it. It fell to the floor.**

"THAT THINGS A BOMB?!" Weiss shouted as she looked surprised at the item. "No that's borderline cheating!"

 **"Oh my god!" He said in a high pitch. "It's actually a bomb-" he tried to run way, only to trip over the bomb. "Oomph!"**

"Oh no..." Weiss, Blake and Nora all said as they all realized what was going to happen as they checked the timer.

 **The bomb exploded as it launched Dan in the air.**

 **0:00**

 **"K.O!" The announcer cried.**

 **"BUMMEEER!" Dan cried in defeat as he left the screen, his last word echoing a few times.**

Nora, Weiss and Blake all had a shocked look as they realized they just gained a point. Weiss was the most notable on who paled.

 **Hercule lifted his head out from behind his cover as he looked left and right.**

 **A missile like sound was heard as Hercule celebrated by doing his double peace sign pose while saying "Number One!"**

 **As it turns out, the sound turned out be Dan, who fell back down right onto off Hercule, causing him to do one last 'funny face', before he fell on his down.**

That seemed to listen up the mood as they all laughed at Hercule's expanse.

"Karma." Jaune said as he wiped his eyes for any tears. "It always strikes with a vengeance."

 **The burning clock was revealed after the screen went to black, as it spun around once and showed a lighter and darker blue striped background.**

 ** _*Cue Mr. Satan's theme (DBZ)*_**

 **"This Melee Victory Goes To..."**

 **The top of a marvel column came up as it show Hercule... Who was laying on his side, dazed and with a large bump on his head. He waved his hand once, before dropping it.**

 **"Hercule!"**

The other chuckled at Hercule's most likely unconscious body and his luck.

"Alright, the tally thus far is Weiss, Nora and Blake: 1; the rest of us zilch." Yang said as said three losers all blushed a bit when they realized they were a step closer to losing. "Should we start the next video?"

The others all looked to each, before they simultaneously nodded.

* * *

 **V + J's Box of Author's notes**

 **Hello, everyone. Welcome to the box...**

 **God this was a bitch and a half to write. Jessica and I had to rewatch the entire video over and over again today, and that was not a fun experience.**

 ** _J: Now, let us tell you what else is exactly different. For one, yes the betting system. It adds a bit of a flare into this that we personally enjoy. If you have a suggestion, we'd love to hear what type of punishment we can inflict on them._**

 **Also, pairings. There will be pairings, just not, as in our other fics, more common ones. What are the pairings for this Fic? Freezerburn (Weiss x Yang) and Lancaster (Ruby x Jaune) are a yes. But we wouldn't mind some input for the others. Which would you like? Thundercats (Nora x Blake) and Locus Island (Ren x Pyrrha)? Or Ninjas of love (Ren x Blake) and Electromagnetism (Nora x Pyrrha)?**

 ** _J: Anyways, this has been one of my favorite One Minute Melee's! Next up, we have one of Vin's: Deadpool vs Deathstroke!_**

 **See ya around,**

 **Vindex + _Jessica_**


End file.
